Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize