Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
