Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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