Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
