the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
