so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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