just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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