I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
