Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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