hotel room ftw
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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