Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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