I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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