You're so nebulous sometimes
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
