Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i love accidental penises.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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