1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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