How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
