We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
