I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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