I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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