i just wanna soil my oats bro
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
