I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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