The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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