No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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