why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
My life is pants optional.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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