You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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