Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
