I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize