You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
