Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
