I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
two words...techno handjob
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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