I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
