he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
