just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
