I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
