Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
