Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
