hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
