shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
