also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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