You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
