I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
