On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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