Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
