4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize