That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
