I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
