Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
