literally had 100 drinks last night.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
