Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize