so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
