Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
