i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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