Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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