Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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