Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
