Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm too high and old for this...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
