So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
