id be glad to
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
