And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
