You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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