I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
