God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
