Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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