oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
