I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Please, let me fuck your mom
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize