just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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