hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
